Spigner on Cord Handle

From the Desk of Barcy Spigner


The Dean of Weedville State University.


Hey Guy's.there are times I will write about things outside of the W.S.U. and this would be one of them. Some of you have read the blog review of  music and social critic Cord Handle, who wrote a pretty hard review of The Douglass Shirt Band and in that review he wrote this,


" The night started out with me entering The Elkatrast. As I entered the smell of urine and other unpleasant odors engulfed my nose ( which was no surprise ), but what cut the night short was, watching someone vomit over a possible heroin overdose, and that was followed by someone slipping in it and knocking me over a table, causing me to hit my head on the floor. Needless to say my night was over."


Cord then finished this so-called review with this hash statement,


" So, I am not able to tell how good The Douglass Shirt Band is or was, but if the social debris that follows this band is any indication of the talent in this group, they must really suck."


I tried to contact Mr Handle this afternoon, but he did not return my calls, but just a few hours ago I received this e-mail from Cord Handle.


" Dean Spigner, I am happy that you frequent my blog that I write for The Weedville Weekly. Nice to know that you are concerned about my statement's on The Doug Shirt Band. In you voice mail you said, that you believe that I was incorrect as well as unfair in calling the band and their fans "Social Debris" and you felt it gives the perception that the Doug Shirt Band is awful.


First of all, if that is the impression, so what. I'm not here to promote local bands, who are not even good enough to play an 'OUT HOUSE" much less a night club.It is not my fault that these losers who watch too much American Idol believe they can actually entertain and delight us with their talent. Instead they suck. And I'm not going to stand by a bend over.Most people who listen to music today are stupid and have no idea what is talent. The only good that most of today's music serves is that, when I'm constipated and need relief, I just listen to "The Black Eyed PEE'S" or " M n M" ( Which I spelled wrong on purpose) and that helps me cleans my colon. 


Second, I did not call The Doug Shirt Band "Social Debris". I said their fans are. AND THEY ARE! There is nothing better than going to a club and smell urine as well as vomit, which lead to some bimbo  sliding on it and into me. I'm sorry DEAN SPIGNER, but smelling vomit and being hit by someone sliding into me as a result of it ,tends to upset me. I guess you would think it is perfectly normal.


Third, although I did not see this disaster live, I did hear them on the internet and I consider The Doug Shirts Bands music, 'Songs to Fart by". Talk about terrible. I rather go to Captain and Tennille  and a John Tesh concert tribute to Black Sabbath, then have to suffer through a nightmare with The Doug Shirt Band.


Maybe you should stick to trying to run a University and try to make a life for yourself, since you could not make it in t.v. and radio, instead of being concerned about what I write. I find you boring and nothing more than a pathetic individual who could not find his "### #### " or your"####"( I had to edit that).


Sincerely Cord Handle.


That was class and your crude bathroom humor was beyond the pale. But typical of a failed artist in his own right. Mr Handle was never considered a good artist and as a result, he has turned on the industry he once worked in and insulted many bands and actor and actresses. 


Mr Handle was unfair in his opinion of The Douglas Shirt Band, and thats the name of the band Cord, not the Doug Shirt Band, which you wrote on purpose knowing it was insulting. Cat's like you only criticize, you never give a band a compliment. I have yet to read one of your blog's complimenting an artist. I guess that's how people like you operate, indicative of the attitude of many in this County.


I should say I'm surprised, but I'm not. This is the reaction I expected.You have been crude to bands, actors,actresses and your ex girlfriends. You laugh at the struggles of others and rejoice at peoples failures. 


The Douglass Shirt Band is one of the better bands in Elk County and I would encourage people to see them and judge for themselves. I believe that most people will come away disagreeing with Mr Handles opinion of The Douglass Shirt Band. WHATS NEW!


This is what I have put up with for many years up here and it is getting very exhausting.


Dean Spigner. 
      

Cord Handle On The Douglas Shirt Band

Cord Handle is a music and social critic for The Weedville Weekly. Cord is a former musician and actor who has insight in the the entertainment industry. Since his retirement, Cord is known as a " Judge and Jury" of critic's. 

The Weedville Weekly Social
  
  With
Cord Handle

I just returned from The Douglass Shirt concert that happened at The Elkatrast.

I would have like to have shared with all of you what I thought of the performance, given the buzz  this band is causing throughout Weedville, but I had to cut my night short.

The reason why is.

The night started out with me entering The Elkatrast. As I entered the smell of urine and other unpleasant odors engulfed my nose ( which was no surprise ), but what cut the night short was, watching someone vomit over a possible heroin overdose, and that was followed by someone slipping in it and knocking me over a table, causing me to hit my head on the floor. Needless to say my night was over.

I was treated at a local Weedville hospital ( The Weedville Clinic ) and was released.

So, I am not able to tell how good The Douglass Shirt Band is or was, but if the social debris that follows this band is any indication of the talent in this group, they must really suck.

Cord Handle

Fighting Elk Spotlight. Tike Dunder

 From the desk of Barcy Spigner. 

The Dean of Weedville State University.

 

 Some of you may not know or understand The Fighting Elk EXP. So, I have decided to start a segment called Fighting Elk Spotlight, which will showcase the people who make Weedville State the place that it is.

 

Tike Dunder is the starting quarter back of W.S.U. .Not only has he turned heads on the field, but he has made quite an impression in the classroom. Tike is a creative writing major here at W.S.U. and I believe you will enjoy reading one of his entry's called The Tike Dunder Diaries. Tike writes these diaries during the football season for The Weedville Weekly.

 This blog entry has been edited or changed. These are the direct thoughts of the starting quarterback of The Fighting Elk of Weedville State University. This student athlete is also a CREATIVE WRITING MAJOR at W.S.U. and we here at The Weedville Weekly are honored to have Tike share his mind.

Tike Dunder.

Hey everyone, tis is ike tike and Tike i meaN. ItS IS GRET TO b hear with all od everyone.

i cant't wiat to git the seson tarted. I thinks it has been a good ccramp camp and the tieam seem to be readey to goo. I Iself fel pretie goo d bout the sieason and ym gurl fiend was realling me that if I have the same focuse that I have with me riting, eye should sirprise everone this year.

i never really thoughted that I could do so well at creative wriiting. I almos loo forward to my cretive writing assaes  than I od to fotball. that is so col!

pEple have ased my me me abiut my of sseain training. like Wa wHt wHaT DO I do!?

ann I say. i id just do what i do when i do it in the th regular seasin. work hard and gay focus, stay focis. Sew it realy is not that hard too figure out , you know I just do the same that I do it to the regula sasin season.

I hook forward to the season and look to have a big ear and think I will.

Got git bac to training and wacting flim. as hell as hit the book.

catch you so.

tike duder

Dr Sherman Munzt. a W.S.U. BREAKTHROUGH!

From the desk of Barcy Spigner, The Dean of Weedville State University.

As The Dean of Weedville State University, I would like to share with you a break through, that our own leader of education Dr Sherman Munzt has concluded. This study has been worth millions of dollars . Dr Munzt himself have traveled around the world to places like Cancun Mexico, Miami Fla( Spring Break),Las Vegas, Mardi Gras, A Metalica concert as well as hanging out with Charlie Sheen, to research why people get drunk.


Two years ago Dr Munzt walked into my office and shared his heart felt concerns on this issue. I could see the passion on his face and the determination  to seek the answer to this question, We talked about the sacrifice, how he had to leave his family to travel around the world, especially his wife who he was currently separated from at that time,( I'm happy to report the are together again after Dr Munzt 6 month journey around the world).

I'm please to report the finding of this pain staking research.This makes me appreciate the sacrifices of  those caretakers of academia , who work for the betterment of the human condition. Let us all benefit from this brilliant mans work and let us all learn. Which is what we are all about here at Weedville State University.

Here is Dr Munzt's findings.


Dr Sherman Munzt. The reason why people get intoxicated or drunk to use a  more blunt term is, .....It makes them feel good..

Dr Sherman Munzt

Weedville State University.

What a break through! This is what a Weedville State education is all about. Studying the obvious and proving the provable. I'm proud to say that out Fighting Elk Research Center has never been wrong.

I hope you will consider Weedville State University and learn the obvious too.

Barcy Spigner

The Dean of Weedville State University.









   


 

About Weedville State University.

"Man is limited by his lack of understanding. He is only freed by the reality of his limited knowledge".

I'm proud of that statement. Some have said, how could you spend hours thinking of a statement that really has no meaning? No meaning! I believe that statement has a lot of truth.. I play my role. Just like you and everybody else. The truth is, that we know very little, but we are good at convincing, our employer,,family, women and just about anyone else we come in contact with, that we have it all together.

Take my job.

My job is selling Weedville State University. "Home of The Fighting Elk".

Weedville State University offers the same educational opportunities as the other "Fine" institutions of higher learning.. Unlimited drinking, random sex and professors that hate America and your parents, for less the cost. And I guarantee, you will graduate somehow. Just show up.We have many insignificant classes such as,
1)Elk Studies, where you will spend 4 years analyzing the behavior of Elk and why the like it outside. 

2) The Study of the Sexes. Why we do not get along and why will never get along and that women have all the power and we as men are screwed.

3) The Study of the Brain. Dr Sherman Munzt helps us understand , why we are stupid. The problem is, that because you are stupid, you will never understand why we will never be smart, so you would fail the class, but you will pass.....please do not ask why. Stupid question.

4) Modern Day behavior of Sports Fan. This class will examine how pathetic the modern day sports fan has become and how board they are with sports. Example: Fantasy football or fantasy sports in general. It is kind of like when your marriage get stale and you have to use something else to spice up your romance. To put it mildly, it is like using a martial aid. All people who play fantasy sports should be put to sleep.

That is an example of what a W.S.U. education is. Only a moron could fail.

The other part of my job that is important and this is the key to my success is, kiss everyone's ass. Make my staff and especially the faculty feel good about themselves. Make the professors feel like they can heal the sick and raise the dead. Funny, they think the are God's, but most of them do not believe in God.

I hope this sheds some light about what Weedville State University is about as well as my role as Dean of this fine institution.

If you have any question please do not ask.

Barcy Spigner

The Dean of Weedville State University.